An atlas of impossible longing...

Many a times we think, sometimes we dream and a very few times we do.I wish i would be d maverick of Robin Hood, or a ward of scotland yard.I wish i would be the killer of Raj Thakrey, or the Captain of Indian Football team to hold world cup,I wish i would marry Aishwarya or something more rude,more weird and more obstinate.
I in my short span of life of a mere 20yrs,had dreamt about 20 lacs or more thing,a very less time with my mind but most of time with my soul.I often get amused that the desires which we can't aspire in this life,why prevails on us.
Here,I am to share one of my such absurd but characteristic,metaphor but persistent dream which haunts me at thousand no of times in a day or even more
Only a few years back,I was in love with someone,i never need to add the adjective madly before love,as , i think love is itself a madness.She was as sweet as November's sun.As dusky as February evening and as lovely as post-eclipsed moon. I used to chat with her in my dream with all my ears open to sense any whisper from her. Any response of her used to add flavor in my expectations which lengthens as a bottomless hut or as endless as universe.
I never talked to her in real,it was not because i feared or something like that,it was because i was saturated with her presence in my dream. The only thing i felt that it was she,which was reposed in my self-inculcated shadow,which persists in the darkness too.
Finally, i decided to propose her but not in my dreamland but as per this materialistic world's expectation.As i never talked to her in person so i decided to propose her in the most wizard way in the universe.I mailed her:-
To,
The dream-girl,
dreamland,soul-city,United States Of Love
subject:-To propose you.
Dear Suvarna,
I am the student of 3rd yr B.TECH Petroleum Engg. ISMU,dhanbad.In response to your smile dated 24/12/2004 i fell in love with you.During this 4-yrs, i smiled a no. of times on your one smile.I beg to say that it is impossible for my dream to persist without your presence.Please,reply at the earnest,to get rid of my sweet-mares and oblige me.

The response came after one long-night of December.

To,
a dreamer,
somewhere,Fool's city,Idiotica.
subject:-response to your proposal.
Dear Mano,
Most humbly and respectfully I want to say you that it was s great privilege for me to come in your dream.A four years back I had smiled to yr face,yr dressing sense and yr out-questioned physique. I am extremely sorry at that smile.I assure you thet it will never happen when i will meet u again.

My way of proposing her was weird, i knoe but i had never wished it to be unfortunate,though my letter was funny but my love was pure.Sometimes funniness comingles with pureness but this time funniness has coincided with pureness.Remarking this dream as an "ace of all dreams"i continued to dream,continued to fall in love and continued propose.I am quite sure that once i will get a girl who can understand my dreams.
But still, i wished i had not proposed her in that way,i wish she had not given any response,i wish i could catch my "ace of all dreams" someday....as all others r d xerox copy of this original one.

(NOTE:-plzz dont comment as impossible itself says i m possible)

God is a BLACKBOARD

"Many many moons ago when God had sent Adam and Eve to rehabilitate the bluish planet,he had given them the blessings to paint the darkness with spark, to shade the sorrow with joy and to dampen the world with patience."In the shivering winter night my Grandpa was telling the story to all of our brothers and sisters,I was half slept and subconsciously affirmatizing in response.
Many a days later when I was in class VIII, on the threshold of early adolescence in which the days are used to pass in dreams where night are for programming the consequences of days excitation.As i was in a co-education ed hostel , we navodayans were the worst victims of this phase.
On one of the usual std VIII classes my consensus was in absent zone though my breathing body was proxying for me, my honorable hindi teacher had suddenly asked,"you!!!!thin boy with specs,stand up."Ohh! i remembered, i was thinking about her only, if she had used the black ribbon i would have added the glue in her silky hair......suddenly my thoughts were paused. "yes mam!!!"
she asked " well!! tell me that who had said,"कर्मण्येवधी कारस्ते माँ फलेषु कदाचना??? "
My mind which was still in mute replied through my tongue ,"BLACKBOARD"
"What???" the whole class was turned into laughter as i had changed my sex or something.The remembrance of wat happened in next few seconds still excites me.
okk SUHANI u tell,"Mam! Mano is right .This statement was given by lord krisna, who gives a spark to d dusky world with the white solid two and half inch chalk,the knowledge which enables the word to revive from the sorrow of bein succumbed,as we scratch the rectangular 2 and 1/2 feet "black mirror of life" but it tells d story to keep patience,preservence and persistence. Mam!!! GOD IS A BLACKBOARD".This simple and clear argument let the whole class hypnotized.
At the end of d class i could only say to her,"thank god!!! When grandpa was telling the story you were in my heart!!!"

loser's luck

"Mano you are a looser!!!" finally she said this with an expressionless tone and went.It sheared me from my within and haunted my egoistic attitude.I had heard that the truth is wizard,why so I had not even imagined,For the first time in my life,I was interviewed to my reality,my existence.
It was all well when i was qualified in IIT-JEE.Congratulation flooded,hope escalated,temptations reloaded and my desires twinkled.Stage was set and I came in the heaven ISMU.Scoring good GPAs and trumping approximately all,"relatively preset taboos".Then what went wrong????I still can't forget the day i talked to her on gtalk for the first time.The letters were reflecting her innocence,the words were chanting her smile and the sentences were witnessing her beauty.Small chats converted into long night-outs on cell phone.It was the crux on my happiness curve. Suddenly,my all dreams shattered and i was engulfed bu the weird but substantial truh.
It was the bright sunny day of October.Even nature had not decided whether to launch the winter season or to extend the scorching summer.I was relaxing with SIMPLE in Mysore,as usually bunking the classes.She asked,"what can you do for me"."Anything"I replied.Then "leave me".Suddenly i felt the all spirits laughing at me."What?"I uttered."yes mano!!neither you have a great body nor a fairer complexion,your sense of humor is sucking,your self-imposed style is out-dated,you were busy in chasing your dreams without including versatility in you,NOW DUE TO GLOBAL MELTDOWN YOUR PLACEMENT IS ABYSMAL,i did not find any clue to foster in this relationship,you are a foolish self-destructive damn looser!!!!"
I was locked in the bitterness of truth and my finger rolled on ma mobile typing"Yes,i am a looser,but it is you who is my loser's luck".